Writing Live, Lust, Repeat at fifty was an emotional journey for me. I didn’t want to write a memoir about sex. I wanted to use the word lust to explore something bigger: what we want and what we crave in life.
Early on, I learned that desire wasn’t just about sex. It was about living fully and giving ourselves permission to want more. And I wanted to share that journey with you.
I’m not sure if it was the generation I grew up in, but we were taught to question ourselves. We worried about what people thought and whether our choices were acceptable. Even as adults, we sometimes wonder if wanting more from life makes us selfish.
But what if it isn’t selfish? What if it’s simply being honest about what makes us happy and what we want our lives to look like?
We spend so much time hiding parts of ourselves and putting our happiness last. Eventually, we have to ask ourselves: Whose life are we actually living?
For women especially, the expectations can feel endless. Be confident, but not intimidating. Be attractive, but don’t own it too much. Be independent, but don’t make anyone uncomfortable. We’re encouraged to be ourselves, as long as everyone else approves.
But living freely doesn’t mean ignoring consequences or abandoning our values. It means making choices that reflect who we are, even when others don’t understand them. It means accepting that we can make mistakes, change our minds, and want more from life without constantly explaining ourselves.
That’s what Live, Lust, Repeat is about: letting go of shame, embracing curiosity, and discovering what happens when we stop allowing other people’s expectations to define us.
There is no single definition of living authentically. It’s about discovering what that means to you.
So, ask yourself: What would your life look like if you worried less about being judged? What would you finally allow yourself to feel?
You don’t need to have everything figured out, and you don’t need to be fearless. You just have to stop letting fear make every decision for you.
Life is too short to spend it apologizing for who we are or living only to meet other people’s expectations.
Live boldly. Love honestly. Repeat without shame.
The real question isn’t when we became so afraid of living, but how much longer we’re willing to let that fear decide how we live.